Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Families in mainland Europe evacuate as Homo sapiens threaten hunting grounds and lives. One Neanderthal is reported to say, “Just because we have high brow ridges doesn’t give them the right to attack my family.” Grog went on to emphasize, “It’s just pure genocide.”

An entire fishing village in Northern Egypt has fallen victim to the vile ‘People of the Sea.’ One disparate mother is reported to say, “I have lost my entire family and Pharaoh does nothing. He would send our soldiers over the sea to control the riches of Syria when here at home our sons are dieing.” She went on to claim that homeland security has been ignored for far too long. Editor’s note: this papyrus is not responsible for the personal views or blasphemous references to Pharaoh.

Religious fanatics are condemned by Ceaser Nero who is quoted as saying, “While preaching love and peace, Mr. Christ is personally responsible for the dissident in our society today. Our empire is seeking extradition for those who teach against the gods.”

Two knights of the round table were seriously wounded in battle today. King Arthur proclaimed in his speech to the people that, “...we will not leave until we bring peace to the Saxon homeland.”

Once again the wall is under attack. Mongols hit main fortifications of the wall in Southern China today killing two soldiers and injuring four more. The Ming dynasty has acted without hesitation reportedly signing into effect new funding for the wall. Emperor Ming was reported to state, “This funding will take homeland security into the future to protect not only us, but our children, and their children and so on into the 17th century.”

Outrage at the tragedy of the Boston Massacre has fueled hot debate today between Colonists and the British government. The well-known lawyer, Mr. Adams, is reputed to say, “England has no right to impose their rule on the world.” Colonist Ambassador, Sir Benjamin Franklin is saddened at the news. Although still residing in London, sources tell us he is soon to return home, to America.

The Emancipation Proclamation was announced today, years into the war. Slavery has been condemned by President Lincoln, who is reported to say, “Freedom is a right for all.” In other news, Miss. Fairweather lost her case in court today. The judge upheld the right for her nearest male relative to inherit her father’s home condemning her action as “unwomenly” and “irresponsible.” He went on to remind the court that women had no rights to land ownership as far as the law was concerned.

Archduke Ferdinand and his wife were assassinated today in Sarajevo. The terrorist group, The Black Hand has claimed responsibility. Austria has announced that this act is an act of war. Formal declaration of war against Serbia is expected.

On July 16, soldiers on the Mexican side of the boarder into New Mexico reported a white flash just before dawn. Aided by reports from Nazi sources, Japanese officials fear the U.S. may have succeeded in the development of a weapon that can cause mass destruction.

Breaking news reports: seven days ago, on Oct. 16, U.S. officials report the Soviet Union has indeed supplied Cuba with nuclear missiles. Kennedy announced the report in a press conference today sparking fear that the conflict will result in nuclear war.

The New York skyline will forever be changed...

Another suicide bombing was reported...

Two Palestinians die in Gaza strip...

A Neanderthal skull is unearthed. Scientists argue whether their disappearance was due to Homo sapiens aggression or peaceful interbreeding.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Parlez vous francais?

On the phone this morning, I was confronted with a language problem. I'm doing research for work and needed to contact a society based in France. Well, I didn't quite know that it was based in France until I was transfered, and the lady on the other end of the line answered with "Bonjour." Then, I panicked.

Having taken two years of French, having parents who insisted on having their children listen and learn French songs, having been to Paris, one would think I could spout a few words such as, "Bonjour, parlez vous anglais?" or at least "Bonjour."

No, no, instead I panic and ask in my perfect American accent, "uh, do you speak English?" Which she did.

I was appalled that I couldn't even say "thank-you," or "goodbye" in French.

So instead I thanked her profusely in my native tongue and hung up.

Many people around the world berate Americans for our lack of foreign language. They claim we are lazy, or stupid, or both. But I would put forth another theory. We are in a very, very large country. Yes, there is Spanish to the south, and French to the north, but unless you live on the border to one of those countries, you really have no exposure to any other language outside of the classroom. Even western Canada only has signs in French, but having been there quite a bit, I never once encountered anyone who really knew much more than me in the way of French.

So I would say, we are not lazy, or stupid. We do speak other languages, albeit, not too well. We don't ever exercise the use of those languages, however. And when put on the spot? We panic and revert to English.

And I'm a terrible speller, so I appologize for my poorly spelt French. I couldn't find a spell checker in French, so I panicked and reverted to English.....

Thursday, October 26, 2006


On the way to work this morning I was stopped by a guy;

him: "Maam we are taking a picture."

me: "What?" as I keep walking to the train.

him: "Maam we are taking a picture!"

me: "Uh.." I slow down as he opens his wallet.

him: "Maam you're holding up the picture." walking toward me.

me: "What the.." backing up

him: "police! you need to move" holding out his wallet

me: "Is this real?" I look imploringly at the lady behind him who is moving to pass us.

him: "Maam! We're taking a picture, police!" he shows her his wallet.

me: "You've got to be fucking kiding me." I walk back the other way out of the tunnel with the other confused lady.

him: "Maam, sir, we're taking a picture!" assuming he's flashing his wallet to other confused commuters.

me: "Seriously, is this real?" I glance at the other lady, she shrugs, and peeks around the corner.

him: "Ok, we're done." gives me a nasty look as he and another 'policeman' huff out of the tunnel with a computer.

me: "ass" mumbling as other commuters pour from the multiple entrances where they were held up for a 'picture.'

If you are going to take 'pictures' or do what-ever it is that you do as an officer of the city WEAR A FREAKIN UNIFORM!!! I cannot see your badge inside of a wallet that you are flashing. Honestly, I am approached on a daily manner by people, do you think in your plain clothes you have any authority? That we will listen to your crazy-speak? I respect your position, I like having the cops around when I run in the dark, to direct traffic, to keep me safe. I realize that you guys were there to maybe take a picture of a long tunnel with multiple enterances that you feel needs security cameras. BUT, BUT maybe, just maybe you could be official about it?

And don't call me Maam, Jerk.

Friday, October 20, 2006

New York Women are Fabulous

I simply can't compete in this city. Sex-in-the-City women really exist, and they scorn my type. You'd think that in a city of something like 5 or 8 million or lots and lots and lots of people, I'd find a niche.


I have plenty of cool friends, most not originally from here. I've been asked out a couple times, fine. But I can't compete with these women. And I certainally don't look/act like one of them.

I do not smoke. I like beer. I buy rounds of drinks when I go out with others. I don't expect the guy to do all the buying.

I do not have a fabulous wardrobe and fabulous shoes.

I can't find a pair of jeans to save my life that are 'cool' enough.

I'm currently running 16-20 miles a week, and that number is going to go up as I train, so I'm fairly healthy, but I feel fat. I'm not fat! I'm swimming in my pair 6 pants today which I hike up oh-so-lady-like every few steps. I don't know where to buy a belt under $50.

I don't eat out every evening.

I ride the train.

I'm going to an art exhibition tonight embracing my over-sized green cargo pants, camouflage Keds, brown longsleve under dark blue short, topped off with a cargo jacket. I'm not fabulous. But there is an open bar...and that is my kind of fabulous;-)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It's Raining

Typical Montana summer day................


I love the rain. I’m sure many of you would prefer sunny days all around, but while I enjoy a sunny day from time to time, it’s the rainy ones I remember most vividly. Rain visits my former part of the world rarely. Helena, Montana sees more blue sky days than Pheonix, AZ! Beautiful blue skies over green valleys, golden mountains, snow caked ridges. But the rain, the rain.

I remember rain on almost every fourth of July of my childhood. Running through the meadows full of water, while the parents stayed dry. As night fell, collected into the house, soaking and cold to watch the fathers try and light fire-crackers on the soaked deck.

I remember rain on those long summer days that my mom threw us out of the house to play. Rain or no, we were sent to the outdoors to discover the world. We found waterfalls at flat-rock, muddy ponds at our hide-out on the mountain, secret hiding places as Nia-Nuki, wrapped in ‘buffalo’ hides escaping the Blackfoot and calvary.

I remember running. Races in the rain seem somehow more appropriate. The passion of chasing heated and cooled by the clouds above.

I remember running. Hurt from failure, from spurned love, from lost love. The passion of the sky crying for and with me.

I sit and watch the rain from my perch inside the café. Done with work. Sitting and writing, and smiling. I love the rain.

Sunday, October 15, 2006


I express my sincerest thanks to my colleagues, Dr Kerr, Dr, Miller, Dr. Brooks and Dr. Hulbert for their invaluable guidance and patience. Additionally I acknowledge Dr. I, Dr. W, and Dr. K for the projects described in this document. Finally, I acknowledge all of my friends, particularly Aspen and
  • 4D
  • , as well as my loving family for their unending faith and support.

    (I actually put that in. Now, if I can figure out why in hell my computer instists on putting my page numbering as: 88, vv, 6......., then I can get this sucker out!!)

    (Also, notice how I just do the bare min. for the mentors? Ha! I say, Ha!)

    (I have a ton of pictures for you guys, but I'm afraid they'll have to wait until I have time. We have a board meeting thing at work on Wednesday, and this thesis has to has to get out tomorrow, damn the page numbers, damn the page numbers.....damn....the....page.......numbers.)

    Wednesday, October 11, 2006

    A Scientist Becomes a Runner...Again

    In 1822, the world was lucky enough to receive into its clutches two future greats, Johan Mendel (later became Brother, then Father Gregor) in July, and Louis Pasteur in December.

    Mendel spent plenty of time in his garden, 'toying' with pea plants. From his green thumb, and astute observation, Mendel theorized the basis of genetic inheritance and published his findings, "Experiments on Plant Hybridization" in 1866. His paper was sited merely three times in the next 35 years.

    "My scientific studies have afforded me great gratification; and I am convinced that it will not be long before the whole world acknowledges the results of my work." -Mendel

    Unfortunately, Gregor Mendel passed away in 1884, two decades before anyone recognized his contribution. Now known as the 'father of genetics' he is the reason I went into science upon discovering the punent square (a method of determining genetic inheritance) in the seventh grade.

    On December 27th, 1822, Louis Pasteur was born. Pasteur was responsible for founding microbiology through his 'germ theory.' He founded his theory at the age of 26, dismissing the 20 year old belief of 'spontaneous growth.' At the time, scientists believed that anything exposed to oxygen would result in a growth of sorts. Basically, they had no better explaination for why mold grew, why milk spoilt.

    It wasn't until 1864 that Pasteur's theories began to recieve credit. Napoleon asked him, that year, to look into a 'wine disease' which was destroying the industry in France. Pasteur researched into the matter and discovered that at 55C microbes could be rendered harmless, thus the invention of 'Pasteurization.'

    In 1885, Pasteur discovered the existence of viruses when he developed the rabies vaccine. His first human patient, a young boy bitten by a rabid dog, was cured after an injection of the vaccine.

    Most throughout his life, first as a foolish young man, later as a senile old man, believed Pasteur to be more than a little crazy. They refused to believe in the existance of 'germs.' Again, and again he proved his theories correct. He fought against popular belief his entire life, and succeeded time and time again.

    My parents bought a children's book entitled 'Believing in Yourself' on Louis Pasteur, when I was very young. I remember them reading it to me before I learned to read.

    "Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity." -Pasteur

    I had my last conversation with the appeals committee yesterday. I will find out soon whether or not I will be awarded the Ph.D. I worked so hard for. If I recieve only the masters, then I will go on next fall or winter to continue my studies. If I recieve the Ph.D., I'll continue my carreer.

    In the meantime, I believe I will run a marathon.

    "Set the goal high enough, and even if you lose, you have achieved much. Still, it's better to win."- Me

    Monday, October 09, 2006

    The Best Film

    I just watched the film "Saint Ralph." A film about a boy who became a runner, due to the circumstances in his life. I cried through most of it. And I ended with a smile.

    Great film, moving, inspiring, funny.

    As a kid, my brother looked very much like the lead character, which made it all the more poignant to me. If you don't know already, I haven't spoken to him since July. I've called, e-mailed, texted, but no response. My Mom told me he liked this film so I watched it. The movie was so touching. And now I miss him even more. My little brother. Who would run like that. Who believes like that. Who is inocent like that. Who is..

    I miss him.

    I dream, sometimes about him being lost, and we can't find him. I dream sometimes that he is in a pool, out of his depth, and I can't..quite..reach.

    Stupid, silly. I shake off the dreams. I still miss him. My little brother.

    I hate that anyone would think it is OK to dismiss his family, to insult, to degrade.

    I hate that I have no say. I hate that I want to rush off to Salt Lake and KICK...SOME...ASS...!!!!
    I am upset now, but watch the film "Saint Ralph" The kid looks just like my brother when he was that age. And B is a runner, and the film is cool, and I'm all inspired to run tomorrow!!!!

    Saturday, October 07, 2006

    What Laundry Means To Me

    Laundry is not bad, in theory. I mean, what can truly be wrong about clean clothes?

    Wrong? What’s wrong is the reality.

    In reality there is a mile hike, fifteen pounds of laundry that has been avoided by the purchase of new underwear and bed sheets.

    Reality is living on the third floor of a building.

    Reality is lugging 15 pounds of laundry up and down three long staircases. Stumbling half the way, slipping on the steps, teetering down with laundry bags perched on my shoulders, the rest stuffed into an overstuffed suitcase.

    Reality is that I will forget the soap, and have to buy more.

    Reality is that I will run out of quarters and loose money in the change machine.

    Reality is that I will stand in front of the full and running washing machine with a shirt and a bra that I found in the bottom of the bag, that I somehow missed. And I will contemplate how much I hate machines that load from the side. And I will briefly entertain the idea of opening the door and throwing in the overlooked items before too much soapy water spits over me and the floor.

    Reality is that half of the dryers won’t work, and the other half will light your clothes on fire.

    Reality is exhausing, frustrating, expensive, and can be a fire hazard.

    Reality is that it’s been two weeks, and I’m running low on clean underwear…
    Picture courtesy of : www.soyouwanna.com

    Thursday, October 05, 2006

    Can't think of a title today

    Very tired today.

    I couldn’t sleep last night. Actually tossed and turned until around 5 or 5:30 in the morning. I was wide awake when the first morning birds woke up, and when the lovely garbage trucks started rumbling.


    Well, there could be several reasons.

    My boss comes back into town from London either today or tomorrow. I’ve completed all the work I needed to for her arrival, but now await her approval.

    I received a call from my Ad Hoc committee yesterday. We’ll have a conference call on Tuesday. I have to explain why I feel I deserve a Ph.D. rather than a Masters.

    The final, printed-on-the-correct-paper version of my thesis (now 138 pages) is due November 1st. I need to get the first version out by Monday at the latest to the man-in-charge-of-checking-formatting.

    I haven’t talked to my brother in since July. He’s mad at me because I hate his former-but-getting-back-together-with-girlfriend.

    I’m using a lot of hyphens today.

    I have to do laundry.

    I would like to talk to my Montana guy, but he’s on the road (got to see the Rolling Stones).

    My stomach hurts from early morning coffee I literally drank while in the midst of showering.

    I think my Memphis friends have forgotten me. That’s OK, I expected that, it’s hard to keep in touch when several states away.

    This granola bar tastes like cardboard.

    When I’m done writing this, I have to get back to work on my thesis. I hate the word ‘thesis.’ In fact, I’m sure I’m more irritated about talking about it than you are hearing about it.

    I’ve been neglecting my blogging buddies, sorry.

    I’m trying to think of other sleepless-night-inducing-anxieties because I don’t want to work…….Can’t think anymore, must go, must sleep, must..not..have..more……..coffeeeeeeeeeeeeee.