The Future Never Seen
Oh, I’m sure I’m going to get slammed by this one, but ah well, I’m used to it so here goes.....
I was reading a blog the other day, and came across yet another guy who’s gotten a vasectomy because he feels he will never want kids. What is with this new fad? I mean how can a person at a young age decide they will never in their entire lives want to be a parent? First of all, I know that vasectomies can be reversed, most of the time, but isn’t birth control and such methods an easier choice? Also, I understand wanting one after procreating and all, but before? It’s just beyond me.
Yes, kids are irritating at times. But how could a person know, really know they’d never want one of their own. In my experience, every single person who chose to never have kids has either suffered a divorce with a difficult separation due to the decision. Or they’ve gone through painful and expensive fertility treatments, and/or spent again a lot of money, time, and heartache on the adoption process. One example is my former neighbors. They proclaimed they never wanted kids, ever, period. Yet, at 43ish and 55 they decided they had missed out on a valuable part of life and went through fertility treatments. Took three years, I think and they were lucky to have a little girl.
I’m sure some people are never meant to be parents, and maybe it’s the right thing to make that choice to prevent becoming parents if you don’t feel you have what’s needed. I just wonder at the jump to make it as permanent as possible so early on. I mean, what’s wrong with waiting on the permanent thing until you’re a little older? Yeah, again, I know vasectomies can be reversed, but there’s just no guarantee, none. You could be 40 and decide that now you’re ready and then, oops, tough luck. Can try to adopt, but really, now you’re kind of an older parent, which puts you at the back of the list, unless you have a lot of money. Even then, it’s harder than it seems. There are millions of orphaned kids, but the red tape is disgusting.
Children are our immortality. We all grow old, die, fade from memory. Even our words will, inevitably be forgotten. But the generation we begin, we continue, will belong to that future we can’t see or imagine and, through them, we will live forever.
I was reading a blog the other day, and came across yet another guy who’s gotten a vasectomy because he feels he will never want kids. What is with this new fad? I mean how can a person at a young age decide they will never in their entire lives want to be a parent? First of all, I know that vasectomies can be reversed, most of the time, but isn’t birth control and such methods an easier choice? Also, I understand wanting one after procreating and all, but before? It’s just beyond me.
Yes, kids are irritating at times. But how could a person know, really know they’d never want one of their own. In my experience, every single person who chose to never have kids has either suffered a divorce with a difficult separation due to the decision. Or they’ve gone through painful and expensive fertility treatments, and/or spent again a lot of money, time, and heartache on the adoption process. One example is my former neighbors. They proclaimed they never wanted kids, ever, period. Yet, at 43ish and 55 they decided they had missed out on a valuable part of life and went through fertility treatments. Took three years, I think and they were lucky to have a little girl.
I’m sure some people are never meant to be parents, and maybe it’s the right thing to make that choice to prevent becoming parents if you don’t feel you have what’s needed. I just wonder at the jump to make it as permanent as possible so early on. I mean, what’s wrong with waiting on the permanent thing until you’re a little older? Yeah, again, I know vasectomies can be reversed, but there’s just no guarantee, none. You could be 40 and decide that now you’re ready and then, oops, tough luck. Can try to adopt, but really, now you’re kind of an older parent, which puts you at the back of the list, unless you have a lot of money. Even then, it’s harder than it seems. There are millions of orphaned kids, but the red tape is disgusting.
Children are our immortality. We all grow old, die, fade from memory. Even our words will, inevitably be forgotten. But the generation we begin, we continue, will belong to that future we can’t see or imagine and, through them, we will live forever.
posted by ldbug at Thursday, January 25, 2007
6 Comments:
with you on that one, my husband had the snip after his 2nd child from his first marriage was born with a 'clicky-hip', he thought it was his fault! no matter what the docs told him so he paid for the op privately, luckily for us he had a reversal that worked
In my twneties I had that feeling, but it was never deep enough for me to pull the trigger on it...so I could only guess as to how someone would know.
A traumatic experience maybe? A realization that they will never been grown up enough to handle the responcibility? I don't really know...just top of my head guesses...
Here here!
I knew I wanted to experience life first, so I put kids off to my thirties. Yet I never doubted I wanted them, and feel fulfilled in ways I didn't expect in now having them around.
The only one true answer there is for life the universe and everything is to birth the next generation.
Everything else is philosphy and belief and that can be forgotten.
indoors - I'm glad you guys got the chance together!
rock - I hadn't considered the traumatic part, that's a very good point.
boy - Yeah, lots of people do that too. I think it's smart to live and be young and have your own adventure, then have kids when you're ready.
I won't be procreating anythime this side of my death, but I still don't want a vasectomy. Birth control works just fine for Wife and me, and if anything accidentally happens, well it's Suction Alley for the little bugger!
Nothing to do with traumas or bad break-ups. Just don't like them and don't see how they'd fit into our lives. I know what you mean about them being our immortality, though. But the way we've screwed up the planet, maybe there's no point in procreating.
Was does annoy me, though, is that dumb people keep right on breeding. So in 50 years' time, it'll only be cretins running the world. Oh, wait up...
* - Yeah, there are definitely people out there who should have made the decision to not have kids. I guess I was just saying that I think people shouldn't take the decision lightly....
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