Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Via txt

I received a text just yesterday, not a good one, one of the bad ones. I got dumped. Well, that's not exactly accurate seeing as we weren't officially seeing each other, but really there isn't quite the word I'm looking for.. Hmm, I suppose it's more like I got "ditched" as in left by the side of the road, out in the cold. The guy decided I was not girlfriend material and chose to convey those words via text message.

Joy of joys. So I finally meet someone that actually is relatively fun to be around and I screw it up by my over-eager sense of "jee wiz, a guy who gets me." I'm sure I'm not the first to make that mistake. But for crying out loud, this is the first time, in a very long time I even let my guard down enough to be the crazy, out there, just well, me.

I'm the first to admit I talk too much. I feel too much. I live my life because that's what I'm here to do. I mean, seriously, what good is living if you hide yourself away from it all the time? But, honestly, I've done my fair share of hiding as well.

I've hid from the fact that I am lonely.

I travel, I work on my career. I have great friends. But, ultimately, I do these things alone.

Events in my life pass only through my eyes.

I share these events second hand through the phone, through talking. But that isn't really sharing, that's explaining.

Sharing is being there with someone else.

Recently, very, very recently, I've come to the realization that I am tired of being alone. I see wonderful things that are mine alone. And no-one elses. I'd rather those moments belong to two rather than one.

"We are born into this world alone and we die alone." I have no idea who said that. But how true.

And in this interim, we are more and more in our society alone. Every day is becoming a wasted day. Because it's important to have those times alone and discover who you are, but also, too much time and you forget that there is so precious little time to really know another human being. To belong to and be with.

So quickly life will pass and again you will be solitary on a road no other can follow.

Monday, October 20, 2008


We recently moved labs from the first floor to the third. While I'm sure most people are inclined to move upwards in their career, I'm not sure how I feel about taking that literally.

Other's in the lab are pleased to find they have a new workout regime, I am happy with my running and do not particularly enjoy hiking stairs repeatedly in search of ice, oligos, more ice, etc...

When people enter our new little domain, they gasp and squeal at the 'wonderful views.' I'm not terribly thrilled with bright shafts of sunlight blaring onto my computer screen. Of course, this is Scotland so the sun doesn't last long. Fortunately it's replaced regularly by dreary rain streaking the windows and gusts of wind loud enough to elicit swearing as the poorly built windows rattle and howl.

And I can't find anything. (place loud sigh here)

Monday, October 13, 2008

say no to techno

Cradled by a hot pillow and coughing into my bed sheet, I tried to ignore the repetitive thumping below. Boom -shriz, shriz, boom boom, and repeat. Finally I gave up on the Sunday afternoon nap my flu infused body could've used and went into lab for a little piece and quiet.

Techno is not music. I accept that this form of unimaginative thumping is passable at a nightclub surrounded by strobing lights, too short skirts, and adequate alcohol. Even if there is no discernible tune, the pounding beat is useful in drowning out unwanted conversation or the shrieks of those in the too short shirts.

But, there is no way in any possible form that this "music" is acceptable for pumping out on a quiet Sunday afternoon! There are people with colds out there just asking for a little time to nap! There are people out there with a 'gasp' taste in music that avoid said nightclubs due to the obnoxious beat. There are people out there who suffer miserable head-aches either from the repetitive thump of the blaring stereo downstairs or their head against the wall.

If you are a techno lover, all I can say is there are a lot of forms of music out there, just give one a try. And please, please leave my Sunday alone.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Moving politics

As some of you might possibly be aware, there is an election looming in the U.S. As you are most likely not aware, I am moving to a new flat. Actually, I've already moved out of the old one and am currently camping out on the floor of a friend's place until the move in date a week or so from now.

Since I know the importance of election time, and of being a conscientious voter, I've been actively following the lead up to the election. Dutifully reading every article on every event. Researching each candidate.

However, as I'm sleeping on a floor, I have to wonder if I will retain any useful information come election time. You see, although I know I've read quite a bit on the presidential candidates' positions on the whole wall street fiasco, I remember very little. However, the frantic dreams I had last night of chasing a hamster down the street seem to stick with me. Clearly, I am not focusing on the more important issues of the moment. Although it was a very odd dream.