Headlines

Part II

Grandmother Grog was laid to rest today in the first reported Neanderthal burial. Clans marched from the far side of the ragged mountains to pay their respects. A most poignant moment was observed when one little girl donated her bark-doll for Grandmother Grog’s journey on from this world.

Stunningly, the first Homo sapien has reportedly traversed farther north than any past explorers! Crowds gathered in homage to his bravery even as a group began preparations for their own pilgrimage out of Africa into this ‘new world.’

The suffrage in Egypt has ended today with Pharaoh granting all of the rights demanded by the female representatives. Their new rights are to include: the right to own and sell property and businesses; to keep their maiden names; adopt children; represent themselves in court; seek any employment options. These rights were supported in a landslide victory. Anyone wishing to participate in this evening’s parade is encouraged to bring his or her own jug of wine or barrel of beer.

Monarchy in shambles! Romans overthrew the monarchy today replacing the old government with a republic. Elections will soon be held for the first ever government of the people!

“Robin Hood steals from the rich to feed the poor.” Despite threats from prince John, Mr. Hood’s campaign to “end world hunger” has won him the love of the people sealed with a kiss from Maid Marian.

Colonists no longer! In a dramatic reading to Washington’s troops in New York, people responded with cheers and tears to the words, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator with certain, inalienable rights, and that these rights are to include, Life! Liberty! And the pursuit of happiness!”

Mahatma Ghandi’s fast ended today to the relief of his followers. Preaching peace, Ghandi has successfully brought independence to India in the ‘Quit India’ campaign. Although violence has erupted in some instances, Ghandi remains true to his beliefs inspiring thousands.

“Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, we are free at last.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is quoted in his speech of civil rights today. Following in the footsteps of Ghandi, Dr. King is successfully leading the movement to bring equality to all.

Neil Armstrong landed on the surface of the moon today! Breathless with anticipation, a nation watched as the fuzzy images returned from outer-space. “One small step for man...”

The wall fell today! Brought down by the very hands of the people in Eastern Germany who had suffered behind it for so long. In a dramatic union, Western Germany welcomed their brothers and sisters amid a flurry of rocks and water from a high-powered water-hose.

A mid-western gasoline-pump owner was stunned today when he opened shop. Cash and checks scattered the floor in front of him. Upon further investigation he discovered the night employee had closed the building early, with the gas-pumps still in operation. The owner was pleasantly surprised to realize every drop of gasoline had been paid for by customers who, upon realizing the pay-station was closed, simply slipped what was due beneath the door.

“I think they’ll make it.” Grog smiled.