A Fantasy of Mine

One of the many fantasies I have is to be rich. I mean, I'm not a particularly materialistic person, but there are certainly those days when I could use a little extra cash.

Since moving to New York, I've been pretty good about money. I've paid off two credit cards, started a savings account and keep myself in check about going out. In fact, I 'go out' only about once a week and a good portion of those times include house parties which are pretty cheap to go to.

Mostly, I'm OK about my finances. Every couple of months I can afford to buy something a little extravagant like a pair of cool boots or a sweater or a pair of jeans. I'm able to pay my rent and my bills and have a little left over for food and spending. I was even able to squeeze in a trip to London over Thanksgiving with money I should've probably used to purchase health insurance. Well, I took the chance and didn't get seriously ill for six months and I got to go to a place I've always wanted to see.

But then there are times when the scrimping and saving, the budgeting and the gamble just throw you for a loop.

I do my own taxes because I'm cheap and, well, they're not particularly difficult for a single person earning only about $30,000 per year.

So I thought.

I did my federal taxes and found the government is going to pay me a nice $200. I'm pretty happy about that. Then I go to try and figure out the state and city taxes for New York.

Huh. Ok. I gather the 50 odd forms and begin wading through this process. There are numerous calculations, mistakes (hence the use of a pencil), head scratchers and moments of utter confusion. Through all of this I remained relatively calm. I just knew that a person living check to check, budgeting to the penny and skipping meals on occasion is not a person the state and city would want to target for more money.

I was wrong. Dead wrong. New York believes I owe them $800. That is a month's rent for me. That is all the savings I've collected. That is the exact amount of money that I have absolutely no intention of paying.

Don't worry, I'm not going to skip out on my taxes. I'm simply going to find a way out of this. I've got a few ideas. 1) Since I'm technically a Montana resident, and plan to move back there in June, do my taxes as a Montanan 2) Do the itemized deduction sheets to take into consideration all my moving expenses 3) Find a very, very rich man tonight who is willing to marry me and pay all my taxes.

I like number 3.

I'll go back over all the paperwork and find a way. Somehow I always do. It just astounds me how any state government can possibly feel it is appropriate to steal from those in one of its lowest tax brackets. I practically qualify for food stamps.

This is ridiculous.

I have many, many obscene words and gestures for the state of New York, however, I think I'll keep this post clean as my parents read it from time to time. "Hi Mom and Dad!"

So as I was saying, I won't type out exactly what I would like to say to this state, or where exactly they can put their tax code, but I will promise them that I will not pay them a months rent. I will die of paper cuts and lead...errrr graphite poisoning before handing them that money. There has to be a loop-hole and I will find it. And when I do, I will share it with each and every one of you.