Grant Me
It's incredible how much money is out there just waiting for someone to reach out and (go through a lengthy application process) to grab. I know I've already posted a bit on this subject, but there's just so much to say!
For instance, there are a number of grants so specific that it begs the question: just how many people are actually needed to count the petals on the Ussselless flower of the genus Stupiddus on the southern-most tip of the first island to the right of the African continent when observing a map through goggles and upside down?
Then there are the less specific but just as absurd fellowships such as the grants to forward women in science. Wait, now hold on, you say, but you are a woman, in science! This would be a perfect grant for you! And I would normally agree, however, the grants are not to actually fund women IN science but rather to fund the study of how to forward women in science. OK, well, genius, no study needed, here's the answer, instead of a study, give the money TO WOMEN IN SCIENCE.
Then, now this is my favorite, there are the roughly 30 hundred million grants to fund stem cell research. Ooooooo, stem cells, yes, they must be completely over funded because, as we all know, stem cells are the cure to all. They will be responsible for curing all forms of cancer, and every neurological disorder known to man! Stem cells will cure HIV, hell, in fact stem cells will cure all viral infections down to the common cold. No need for vaccines, we've got stem cells! Stem cells will be responsible for growing limbs on command and making the paralyzed walk again! Stem cells will, on the side, solve world hunger and shoot, they'll even tackle this "global warming" everyone is so hyped about. Yes, stem cells, they are the end all, cure all.
Phooey.
Stem cells are simply cells that have not differentiated. They have the potential to develop into a nerve cell, a blood cell, a skin cell. They are found in each and every one of us and have been used in some studies focused on tissue engineering. The most successful studies have actually been conducted using already differentiated cells that, low-and-behold, actually can have the same functions as a stem cell. You see, some scientists stumbled upon the fact that cells can be "reprogrammed." In a sense, you can take almost any cell in your body and turn back its clock to make it into an entirely different cell.
Stem cells is a stupid buzz word(s) that has the world up in arms and the government wrapped around its little non-differentiated finger.
And no, stem cells will not solve world hunger.
For instance, there are a number of grants so specific that it begs the question: just how many people are actually needed to count the petals on the Ussselless flower of the genus Stupiddus on the southern-most tip of the first island to the right of the African continent when observing a map through goggles and upside down?
Then there are the less specific but just as absurd fellowships such as the grants to forward women in science. Wait, now hold on, you say, but you are a woman, in science! This would be a perfect grant for you! And I would normally agree, however, the grants are not to actually fund women IN science but rather to fund the study of how to forward women in science. OK, well, genius, no study needed, here's the answer, instead of a study, give the money TO WOMEN IN SCIENCE.
Then, now this is my favorite, there are the roughly 30 hundred million grants to fund stem cell research. Ooooooo, stem cells, yes, they must be completely over funded because, as we all know, stem cells are the cure to all. They will be responsible for curing all forms of cancer, and every neurological disorder known to man! Stem cells will cure HIV, hell, in fact stem cells will cure all viral infections down to the common cold. No need for vaccines, we've got stem cells! Stem cells will be responsible for growing limbs on command and making the paralyzed walk again! Stem cells will, on the side, solve world hunger and shoot, they'll even tackle this "global warming" everyone is so hyped about. Yes, stem cells, they are the end all, cure all.
Phooey.
Stem cells are simply cells that have not differentiated. They have the potential to develop into a nerve cell, a blood cell, a skin cell. They are found in each and every one of us and have been used in some studies focused on tissue engineering. The most successful studies have actually been conducted using already differentiated cells that, low-and-behold, actually can have the same functions as a stem cell. You see, some scientists stumbled upon the fact that cells can be "reprogrammed." In a sense, you can take almost any cell in your body and turn back its clock to make it into an entirely different cell.
Stem cells is a stupid buzz word(s) that has the world up in arms and the government wrapped around its little non-differentiated finger.
And no, stem cells will not solve world hunger.
posted by ldbug at Thursday, March 01, 2007
13 Comments:
Stupid grants.
All the writing grants are for writers who've already established themselves - you have to be published! Which means you're already making money! No money for hte poor people just starting out! They're only willing to help the people who don't need help anymore. Ugh!!
I can lend you a tenner if yer like. What do stem cells taste like anyroad?
jay - I hear you. It's all well and good once your established to get funding!
4D - Hmmm, I would suspect they taste a bit like cheesey popcorn...just a guess;-)
THANK YOU for this post, and a wise opinion on stem cells - I never could get why it was such an issue. The grant world is interesting - my best friend is a grants writer. She hates it.
gardenia - the news hypes something and b/f you know it that 'thing' has become all important and emcompasing. *Sigh*
I couldn't agree more.
Steve~
You ain't kidding that the legwork you need to do to apply for a grant is ridiculous. I don't want any amount of money if it means I have to go through that crap.
well...only if you can eat stem cells...with a little garlic perhaps?
i see why i didn't the the grant. I was counting petals right side up!
Perhaps these folks want to be SEEN as being philantrhopic but aren't really. And, when a private org sets up a grant, its always about the interests of the one setting it up. Governments are supposed to represent the interests of all - but then - that would be called 'democracy' har har.
xx
pinks
To be honest, I was never sure as to what stem cells were. Now I know. I knew that they were the "cure all' but never what they actually were.
Do you know Grant Mitchell? Or Hugh Grant?
And of course stem cells will cure world hunger. Jeez, you're so cynical!
hold on... do you work in a University?
steve - it's a scam, isn't it?
joy - yeah, unfortunately research needs funding so sadly it's a process I don't have much choice about
reverend - we should apply for a grant to fund the making of a cook book for stem cells;-)
adult - a cure all and a tasty treat on the side:-)
* - the cynicism comes from years of practice...
jing - hmmm, where I work now and where I'll be in the future have to remain classified for the time being...but short answer is I've been associated with academics for a long time.
I'm associated with academics too!
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