Attack

The bathroom is out to get us. Yes, it's true. The shower has taken sides with the toilet and launched a full scale attack on the RM this morning. I stood, helpless on the other side of the poorly locked door, as she battled the water. Bravely she stood her ground cursing the evil shower head as bottles of shampoo and body wash threw themselves toward her unsuspecting toes.

You see, we have bad plumbing in the giant tub preventing us from using any of the piping into the tub itself. Instead a hand-shower-head-hose-thing has been rigged to hang precariously from a rusty hook. So, after vaulting into the tub, positioning under the water can be a challenge. More specifically, the water will do one of three things: 1) not hit you at all, 2) hit half of your body at a time as the hand-shower-head-hose-thing will be leaning to one side, or, and this is the worst 3) will blast you straight in the eye and shoot out the other side of the tub through the flimsy shower curtains to completely drench the bathroom.

To add insult to injury, the toilet likes to join in this hilarity at regular intervals by draining slowly then suddenly pumping water into its tank and draining cold water and pressure from the shower. This joy leaves you slightly scalded and with shampoo in your eyes.

I'm just waiting for the sink and/or medicine cabinet to engage in the fight of bathroom vs women. Oh, you laugh, but I know it will happen. One day the sink will explode and the medicine cabinet will crash to the floor. It will happen at the most inopportune moment when one of the two of us is in the shower screeching from scalding water. I must convince the RM of this plot against us and plan a preemptive strike against the sink. I really feel the medicine cabinet is more of a follower and won't really to anything without the sink. Yes, the sink. Now, to my plan...