books vs bars

So a "friend" of mine had a little hissy fit the other day basically to address all of my shortcomings in order to discourage me from showing my face in public, which was fun, really. No one's perfect, for God's sake, and no one can be in a perfect, joyful mood all the time, make the right jokes at the right time, know exactly when to talk and when not to, wear the right outfit, say the right things, drink the right drinks, hang out at the right places at the right times...oh, you get my drift. I can be a pain, I know, but I'll tell you, I can't think of one friend that doesn't regularly piss me off for one reason or another. But those aren't the reasons I call them friends. There are all the wonderful little quirks (and the big ones) that make people friends. For me I particularly appreciate someone who can laugh at something stupid, for example, a friend of mine claimed that the word "hello" wasn't invented until that dear little invention by Mr. Bell stating that until the phone, people had no need for a word to address an unknown caller. I guaffed at this and asked, sarcastically,

'well what did people say when they met on the street, then?' to which he replied,

'pleasantries.'

'oh yeah,' I continued, 'so I guess they would have to have said un-pleasantries, since good-bye probably followed the invention of hello. '

So ensued more of the same conversation, and the kind of laughter that hurts. It remained a private joke even in e-mails after that for awhile.

A good friend can laugh, a good friend isn't afraid to cry in front of you, or shout or hold you when you cry and put you off when you shout.

Anyway, I guess the point is, there are a lot of good qualities in people, and if you only see the shortcomings, you'll never appreciate the things that really matter.

Well, I have gotten off track from my title, which is books v bars because that was one of the shortcomings brought up to me. Actually I think what he said was

"and you always show up with your pathetic little books" Ok, I admit it, I bring books to bars. So what?
I'm a girl, I get unwanted attention in which case a book can act as a shield. I don't always know everyone at the bar, so a book is a good thing to have over a pint before that liquid courage can open conversation.

People read newspapers, and the Memphis flyer at bars, so why not a book? Especially when you are single, and go alone to a place, where you're friends may or may not be, or may or may not be involved in other activities, a book is a perfect distraction when no one is around to talk to. Besides, it looks better to have something to do then to stare off into space appearing bored and lonely.

So, basically Fuck Off Dr. K, books are cool, and I'm not perfect, so what, I screw up regularly, but so do you, oh, so do you, particularly with the 2am drunk dials!!!! If I put up with that, (even when I'm otherwise engaged) then you can put up with a book in a bar, a sad or foul mood now and then, because I'm a good friend, and I've never let you down. I've been there when you needed to be picked up, emotionally and for a ride. I've done my best, sorry if that isn't good enough.

izit

My lovely izit dyed protein crystals!











Did you know: Since no one survived the Battle of the Little Big Horn, the details and facts about the battle led by Custer are still hotly debated today...well there was one survivor, his horse, Comanche. Think about it...

pick up

A friend of mine keeps reminding me that only one person will pick me up and that is me. It's awfully lonely though. I love my friends and that they are there to give advice at all is pretty cool, but, they all have someone in their lives...

Life goes in circles. When you're up everything goes well, but then you have to go back down for awhile. It seems to me that personal vs professional life off sets one another. Only one can go well at a time. Ahh, I'm whining again! But what's a blog site for but to bitch now and then. I really don't have anything cool to say right now I guess, but stick with me..I've got some fun coming up..and it'll be illustrated!

not to get tooo excited

I finally reproduced a protein crystal today...if this works, wow, I'll be able to graduate for sure and publish at least 2 more papers!!! This time next year I could be a post doc, looking for a position..London, here I come!!!!!!!

Oh, by the way, I'm looking overseas for a position, thinking London, if I can afford it, because there's so much to do in a big city as opposed to a small college town like St. Andrews..although it all depends on the job..

Valentine

Ok, I think that single people everywhere will agree that this is the worst holiday ever invented! A little history: Valentines began in 270 A.D. when the Roman emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage for soldiers under the notion that married men would not want to leave their families to go to battle. A Christian bishop named Valentine began secretly marrying soldiers to their young lovers in defiance to the new law. In a twist of fate, Valentine was thrown into jail for attempting to convert Claudius II and, while imprisoned, fell in love with the jailer's daughter. Just before his execution on the 14th of Feb., Valentine left a love note to his sweetheart signing it, "your Valentine."

An ancient Roman feast called Lupercalia, began each year just after Feb. 14th and involved young maidens placing their names into jars from which young men would each draw a name. The two would then be together for the festival or longer if they chose. Later, the Catholic church declared Valentine a Saint and changed this 'pagan' holiday to Saint Valentines day to celebrate young love.

(Do Fish Drink Water by Bill McLain)

Today: This holiday is still is an unpleasant reminder of how alone we can be or an entrapment to those with a Valentine they don't want. So, be happy if you have someone you love and for God's sake, please don't rub it in your lonely or frustrated friends' face!

kitty rules

1) It is NOT funy to bite bare toes in the middle of the night
2) Scratching of the black chair is strictly prohibited
3) Poop Inside the box, not right next to it
4) If you lose a toy under the oven again I'm not getting it for you AGAIN!!!!
5) If you fall in the toilet again I'm going to laugh at you...again
6) If you stick your head in the refrigerator, it's going to get cold..if you stick it in the oven, it's going to get hot!
7) Play time is not from 3am to 8am every morning!
8) You know you're just too damn cute to have to abide by these rules;)

new kitty

Found a lost kitty!! in the rain, poor little baby, it was soooo cool because I was feeling particularly down since a friend of mine who I'm not hanging out with right now, due to extenuating circumstances, was getting a kitten yesterday afternoon and I wasn't able to be a part of that anymore. So a kitten found me instead to take care of him. He's justa little thing, with a white belly and a big fluffy tail...think I'll name him Stormy..anyway, fate can be pretty cool sometimes:)

A very good day!

Ha! My old boss, the boss from hell who's lab I was forced to leave is being investigated!!!!!!! Her husband (whom she hired to work in her lab...a whole other story) has already been forced to leave the campus. Ah, vindication! At the time, I didn't file a greivence since no one in power believed me and everyone else advised me to cut my losses. Now, however, the other student in her lab, who started at roughly the same time as me, is filing a grievence against her. Apparently he was dissmissed from her lab, 5 yrs into his degree, and so he decided enough was enough and filed. What he told about the lab in his 3 hr interview was so bad that the husband was immediately asked to leave, and the boss lady is now under investigation. I mean, not only is there falsifying data involved, but worse! I've even been contacted to come forward now with what I have. Maybe I shouldn't feel so happy about this, a person's life and career is being ruined, but she brought it on herself. This is not the first institution she has been forced to leave. Now people finally believe me, now when anyone interviewing me askes why I was in two labs during my degree I can tell them it was the boss, not my inability to do the work, now I, and many others have the chance to come forward and to tell our side to people who will actually listen, now there is vindication.

Moms are great. Mine just got into town last evening because I was feeling particularly down. It's been a really tough year and a half, from the ex-husband leaving to me becoming my own lawyer to deal with the divorce, to leaving one lab due to a horrible mentor only to find myself in another lab with 10x the pressure, to..well, life!

So she flew from Montana just to take care of her baby for a week. She's offered before, but I've always been stubborn and said 'no', and I've made it through quite a lot on my own, which probably started with the microbiology degree in undergrad when I held down 3 jobs while going full time to school, (summer's too), then of course the three years o' hell with the ex. I really never thought much about that before, that I've always put so much on myself.

My mom told me and a friend last night how exhausted my life made her and that, were it not for my absolute, stubborn, and determined attitude to never quit, I probably would have fallen down a long time ago. Well, what she actually said was more like,
"I don't know how you do it, I would be too exhausted right now! You always were so stubborn and never quit when any sport got hard in high school, or when any professor told you to quit in college, or when that horrible woman did all that to you in lab. (sigh) I always thought you would be a teacher like me, maybe a high school teacher, I don't know where you get all this ambition. (another sigh)"

[at that point I interject just to tell her how much I love what I do, and that it will get better, just now it's really tough to which she responds ]

"I know, your dad and I are so proud of you. I just hope you find somebody to share your life with, and that you live closer to home someday. (a really big hug) because you can't cuddle up with a Ph.D. at night."

Ahhh, mom. She worries too much I think. I'm not all that old, and besides, I'm tired of trying to "find" somebody, I think it's damn near time whoever he is out there gets off his ass to find me!

Anyway, I've gotten off the subject which is that I'm so lucky to have a family that loves me so much. Anyone of them would walk through fire to get to me if I needed them, well, my mom thinks my brother might just throw a life-line;) Naw, he'd come to my rescue too. Well, better get back to work, I need to get a few things done before lunch...with my mom!! :)