things not to do/say at your thesis defense

got these as part of the workshop for writing a thesis, these are my favorites:)


1. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem"
2. Describe parts of your thesis using interpretive dance.
3. Have bouncers outside the room to "discourage" certain professors from sitting in.
4. Have a bikini-clad model be in charge of changing the slides. that may very well work in my favor;)
5. "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer."
6. Defense by proxy.
7. "There will be a short quiz after my presentation."
8. Make a professor remove an item of clothing for each question he or she asks.
9. Show slides of your last vacation.
10. "I could answer that, but then I'd have to kill you."